Learning from Horses: The Simplicity of Acceptance

When I came out as trans, I noticed a shift in how some people treated me. Some friends quietly distanced themselves, while others started asking invasive questions or making jokes that weren’t really funny. Even those I loved and believed would always see me for who I am seemed to struggle with recognizing me. But there was one constant in my life who never faltered: my horse.

I had my horse with me during my college years as I navigated my transition. Every morning as I entered the barn, he greeted me with a familiar whinny. He still pressed his nose into my shoulder, listened intently when I spoke, and trusted me to lead him into the arena. Not once did he hesitate or seem to question my identity. He already knew who I was, and that never changed.

The Contrast with Human Sports

This unwavering recognition from my horse often makes me reflect on the heated debates surrounding gender in sports. Discussions about fairness, the fixation on chromosomes and hormone levels, and the endless panels debating who is considered a "real" woman are commonplace. Yet, I wonder, what would happen if we applied the same scrutiny to horses?

Of course, no one seriously questions the gender identity of horses at events like the Kentucky Derby. No one demands testosterone level tests for the horses at the starting gate, nor do they insist that only colts should compete. Male and female horses race together regularly, and the world keeps turning as usual.

The Derby, historically dominated by male horses, has seen only three fillies — Regret in 1915, Genuine Risk in 1980, and Winning Colors in 1988 — achieve victory. These fillies are celebrated for their brilliance, not seen as exceptions needing asterisks by their accomplishments. Imagine if that wasn’t the case.

Rethinking "Unfair" Advantages

Consider the absurdity if a newscaster claimed, "It’s unfair for fillies to race against colts — they’re just not built the same." Or if a commentator speculated, "Does this horse identify as a gelding today?" The very idea seems ridiculous because the focus is on the horses' strength, speed, and grace, rather than on their gender.

Yet, when it comes to human athletes, especially those who are trans, this logic often falls apart. Trans athletes are accused of cheating, of manipulating the system, and their very humanity is debated in the public sphere. The term "biological" is wielded as if it is a simple, unchanging measure of a person’s identity, overlooking the complexities of individual experiences and identities.

Sport has never been entirely fair. Factors like genetics, access to resources, environment, and more influence outcomes. The playing field is inherently uneven, yet we celebrate those who overcome these challenges — unless they are trans athletes, in which case their successes are often mired in controversy.

Lessons from My Horse

My horse reminds me of trust that doesn’t come with conditions. He doesn’t care about my appearance, the pronouns I use, or changes in my voice. What matters is that I am there for him — feeding, grooming, and letting him run free. He recognizes me without requiring explanations or justifications.

Animals aren’t caught up in human-made categories. They respond to energy, presence, and treatment. My horse knew me, perhaps even before I fully accepted myself. His acceptance is a lesson I wish more people could learn.

When the gates open at the Derby, every horse races in the same way. They aren’t defined by gender; they race because they are born to run, driven by the belief someone has in them. This is a desire we all share: to strive, to achieve, to fly beyond constraints.

Ultimately, that’s what we all seek — to run our own race, free from unnecessary labels and inhibiting debates. It’s about the journey of becoming and excelling, transcending beyond society's limited perspectives.

Jay Robinson resides in Los Angeles, where he works in animal care. An equestrian in college, he continues to pursue his passion for sports, having completed his first marathon. His story serves as an inspiration to many, encouraging an embrace of authenticity and acceptance.