Finding a Community in Unexpected Places: A Personal Journey Through Texas

On my latest business trip down in Texas, it felt like everything that could go wrong did. It all started with my flight from Los Angeles, which got hit with major delays. I ended up missing my connecting flight in Dallas, and it took a full day before I finally made it all weary and worn out in McAllen. I tried chalking it up as one those typical travel mishaps, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was a sign that Texas and I weren't gonna be friends.

Being a trans man, I usually blend in just fine, but there's always this naggling anxiety about standing out, especially in places that might not be super welcoming.

exploring McAllen, Texas

Nestled near Texas's southern tip, hugging close with Mexico, McAllen wasn't exactly where I thought I'd feel safe or at ease. My plan was straightforward: do my job stuff and keep a low profile.

One night, a colleague roped me in on a casual karaoke outing. Of course, just as I was about ready, a storm blew in, flooding streets and setting off tornado warnings. The venue ended up closing, and I was left wondering if maybe this trip was jinxed.

My fears weren't always logical, but between nasty weather, political noise, and my own past experiences, my anxiety was all over place. All I wanted was a little peace.

a night at a local gay bar

Determined not let my worries win, we went out again another night. Karaoke was off, but there was a live band. The vibe was great, but something just felt off. I longed just be myself without any pressure.

Someone tossed out idea visiting a nearby gay bar, one two in area. We jumped at chance.

Walking in, it was like electric. Sparkles, sweat, joy everywhere. A Lady Gaga drag show was in full swing, and it was nothing short confidence and fun. Music danced through air, laughter followed, and people cheered performers.

For first time since landing, I wasn't worried about how 'trans' or 'cis' I looked. I wasn't scanning room threats or judgement. I was simply there, among people choosing be there and live authentically.

understanding queer spaces

Not everyone with us was queer, but seeing them enjoy meant so much. Queer spaces are sanctuaries, embracing anyone willing truly be themselves. It's about belonging no matter who you are.

In South Texas, these spaces are lifelines.

Lucky me, I get live California with supportive healthcare and resources that make my journey smoother. But fear never really leaves. It's always there, quietly looming. That week, it lingered until I stepped in that lively bar.

The moment stage lights hit, and music started, I felt a weight lift. That clench fear eased up, even if just briefly.

celebrating queer joy

We're times when drag acts face bans, queer happiness seen as threat, and trans folks pushed sidelines. Yet there I was in conservative state, celebrating with strangers and cheering drag stars like it was no big deal.

Honestly, it was most natural thing.

That it was Lady Gaga tribute seemed perfect. Her music's always been haven folks like us. Hearing her tunes echo on her birthday felt cosmic, like world's nod saying it's okay just enjoy.

Being seen, being visible, isn't always choice. For trans people, it can be scary but also freeing.

In McAllen that night, it was both.

Leaving bar, felt more grounded than I had whole week. Not because was flaw-free or entirely safe, but I reclaimed part me I didn't know was missing.

In face adversity and storms trying push us out, we hold strong. I'm here, and always will be.

Jay Robinson resides in Los Angeles, working as Specialist Lifesaving and Care at Best Friends Animal Society's kitten nursery. He recently finished Los Angeles Marathon, supporting cause close heart. A former equestrian athlete, Jay can be reached by email.