Embracing Identity: A College Athlete's Journey to Self-Discovery

*This article, first published in 2019, celebrates influential figures within our LGBTQ+ community.* --- From as far back as I can remember, sports have been a huge part in shaping who I am. My early days were spent playing football and basketball, competing in national and state tournaments. My love affair with sports was so intense that it led me all over, including transferring high schools in Chicago, where I eventually became captain. But sports were just one piece. As I grew older, through high school and then onto college, I started uncovering other parts that make me who I am. I'm not just an athlete. I'm a student, a son, a brother, and yes—a gay man. ## The struggle with identity Growing up Black on Chicago's South Side, there was this expectation that boys had be tough and competitive. The pressure was real, and I felt like I couldn't be both gay and seen as strong. It got even trickier at an all-boys Catholic high school. It was confusing and frightening, with no one in my corner. I had friends from football, but I still felt like I had a secret. I'll never forget when a teammate questioned my sexuality because I “sounded different,” only changing his tune after seeing me play. That set a pattern in high school where I constantly hid parts about myself. ## Embracing my identity For a long time, I was too scared that coming out would make everyone turn away—friends, teammates, family. Ignorant comments about LGBTQ+ people fueled my fear. Even though I fit in outwardly, I always felt different. College at Amherst was a new slate. It was my chance, but I kept my secret, afraid my teammates and coaches wouldn't respect me. Sophomore year, though, I opened up. I told two close friends, and even though I was terrified, it was freeing. ## Taking a stand in Prague While studying abroad in Prague, I hit a turning point. On April 23, tired from years in hiding, I made my identity public online. I wanted others like me not just survive but thrive without fear. The response was overwhelmingly supportive. One teammate even said he admired my courage. That message was echoed by many, proving I didn't have fit any stereotype. After coming out, my inbox filled with love. Finally, I felt free. ## The journey ahead Facing my fears and living authentically was no small feat. But I've learned that true friends and family stick by you. This past football season, we had a strong 8-1 run and placed second in our conference. As captain and a two-time all-conference first-teamer, I'm excited about what lies ahead. My mission now? To be a voice—especially as a Black athlete—showing that authenticity and leadership in sports are not mutually exclusive. I want others like me know they're not alone, and I hope I can inspire them live freely. Avery Saffold, 21, a senior at Amherst College studying Psychology, dreams working in NBA and continues playing as a defensive back with Amherst Mammoths.