Rutger published: Embracing Authenticity: A Gay Athlete's Journey in the Coast Guard

Finding self-worth in unexpected places

Growing up as a closeted gay kid in a religious family was no picnic. I spent my formative years feeling like I didn't quite measure up, always chasing after self-worth. I yearned so badly just not only be seen but also valued, and that desire pushed me headfirst towards all sorts competitions. Back in Michigan, where I'm from, sports became my safe haven. As an athlete, every victory and personal best, I latched onto those moments, trying desperately tie my self-esteem them. But embracing who I really was? That was a whole different ball game, which I buried deep under my drive athletic achievement.

Navigating a tricky adolescence

Being gay in a sea straight peers was something I couldn't quite wrap my head around. Middle school was when I first really felt it—that fundamental difference. While my male friends crushed on girls, I found solace in their camaraderie, which ironically offered me a "social pass," as people just assumed I was dating them. Truth be told, I just wanted feel like I belonged. High school brought me a solid friend group, but I still felt like an impostor whenever relationships came up in conversation. I dated girls, sure, but I never truly felt what my friends did. On paper, I looked like your typical straight, athletic teen, but inside, I was tangled up with conflict.

Peace found on a track

My upbringing really clashed with who I knew I was, labeling my identity as sinful, which left me depressed in high school. Running, however, was my saving grace. After switching schools, I joined track and field, a team venture I hadn't tried before despite running solo a lot during soccer training. From that first practice, I felt like I'd finally found my people. There was this unique bond among runners; most are genuinely kind-hearted souls. At Saline High School, my teammates weren't just goofy guys; they genuinely cared. It was my first real experience with true community and friendship. Looking back, I now realize my teammates would've accepted me if I'd come out back then. But in that moment, it felt like an impossible leap.

Finding my path in military life

Honestly, I was just an average student, so my athletic skills opened college doors. I headed off Coast Guard Academy, eager keep up competition at NCAA-level. But that military environment, full hypermasculine energy, really put brakes on my self-acceptance journey. I felt alone, unable connect, and my performance suffered enough that I nearly dropped out. Then everything shifted when I met mentor, a confident, openly gay teammate. He was well-liked and respected, changing my view institution and introducing me network queer Coast Guard members. I finally saw a space where my identity and career could coexist. With this newfound support, I began my series “coming outs.” It all started with Liberty, a dear friend, at Detroit Pride. From there, I told my siblings, parents, and eventually shared my truth on social media. To my relief, everyone was extraordinarily positive. My religious family, despite all their background, showered me with love and assurance. I learned relationships are genuine and transcend beyond who you love. Real friends and family stand by you, no matter their initial reactions.

Embracing freedom and redefining myself

With freedom in hand, I dived deeper running. I realized I no longer needed it as validation but as a challenge, both personally inspiring queer athletes and service members. Sports have opened doors I never dreamed possible—from traveling national championships forging new friendships and opportunities. In my senior year, I even got green light pursue a graduate degree while competing at NCAA-level Florida A&M University. Being true myself has enriched my friendships dramatically and shifted my priorities. I never thought I'd get here, but I wouldn't change a thing. My struggles have only made me stronger, equipping me guide others in LGBTQ community facing similar battles. Being authentic can be daunting, but there are always people willing support you. Stay true yourself, lean on loved ones, and confidently march forward. Josiah Davis, 23, graduating from United States Coast Guard Academy with BS Government spring 2021. Competes track Coast Guard and serves Regimental Executive Officer. Plans attend Florida A&M University fall.

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Rutger

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