College Golfer Navigates Coming Out Experience with Faith and Pride

The courage and acceptance in coming out

Deciding when and how you want come out isn't easy, and it sure wasn't a methodical plan on my part. Growing up in a small Nebraska town and attending a Catholic school added layers that made it even more complex. But in August 2019, I finally let it all out by confiding in my three closest friends. The very day after, I took a deep breath and came out again—this time with my coach and my teammates on UMSL's men's golf team.

I was so relieved that my team was nothing but supportive and understanding. Their acceptance gave me that push I needed, but telling my parents? That felt like a mountain. When they came over one weekend in St. Louis, just in time when I had a golf tournament, I nervously approached them with a letter I'd written.

Discovering unexpected support

Reading that letter aloud was emotional, but it felt like taking an unbearably heavy weight off my shoulders. Being traditional Catholics, their response was a shocker—they just embraced me with love and stood by me, which was exactly what I hoped and needed. Since then, our bond has only grown stronger. My parents have been my rock through it all.

Growing up in a place that held traditional values tightly, I sensed I was different as early as first grade. Yet, I didn't fully grasp that I was gay until much later. I spent years trying hard not just fitting in but blending in—dating girls, making jokes that didn't reflect who I was. Society makes you do things you're not proud about. I regret those moments, but I've learned forgiveness starts with yourself and building a brighter future starts with honesty.

Facing hurdles as a gay athlete

Before I came out, I was battling depression and anxiety, afraid I'd lose what I held dear if anyone knew. Being a gay athlete felt incredibly lonely too, with no role models in sight. The isolation was heavy, but I couldn't shake off who I was anymore.

Bringing my faith and true self together

In spite all my fears, I'm embracing who I am: a gay Christian man. There are so many in our LGBTQ+ community who are both religious and spiritual, yet this often gets overlooked. For anyone out there wrestling with past religious trauma, you can reconcile faith and identity, and I'm here if you need support.

As I near graduation, I'm on this self-discovery journey with an open heart. Love, I believe, shows God in action, and everyone deserves a shot at that kind love.

Coming out has let me live more authentically, and it has deepened my connections with friends and family. There will always be those who don't accept my truth, but I've realized what matters most isn't their approval, but me living honestly.

Encouraging others: Just be yourself

I'm sharing my story because I hope it inspires kids, teens, and even adults everywhere. Don't change yourself just because you think you have too; you're just right being who you truly are.

With graduation from UMSL, specializing in Business Administration and Supply Chain Management, around corner, I'm keen on encouraging others in our community. Especially those in sports, it's important that we share experiences and find supportive circles.

If you're searching, find spaces where LGBTQ athletes and allies meet. You're truly not alone, and there are so many who share your journey, ready with open arms.