When I came out as trans, I didn't expect how many things would change. Friends I thought would always be there started drifting away. Others bombarded me with awkward questions or made insensitive jokes. Even people I trusted struggled with my evolving identity, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, perhaps, unable or unwilling, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, or unwilling, perhaps, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, or unwilling, no one noticed but amidst this upheaval, one constant companion remained: my horse.
While I was in college and navigating my transition, my horse was there, steady as ever. Every morning at that barn, he knew me—not just my voice or my face, but me. He nudged me affectionately, listened with those big, gentle ears, and trusted me completely. To him, I hadn't changed a bit. I was still his human and his friend.
All those heated debates about gender in sports—like chromosomes, hormones, and what makes someone a “real” athlete—made me think about how they stack up in horse racing, especially places like Kentucky Derby. In equine sports, nobody demands hormone tests or insists on keeping colts and fillies apart in races, yet everything runs smoothly.
Sure, colts have historically ruled at Derby, but there have been amazing fillies like Regret, Genuine Risk, and Winning Colors who've taken home that coveted trophy. Their wins are celebrated, no questions asked. No asterisks in their record books. We admire them not because they're fillies but because they're fast and fierce.
But what if we thought about it differently? Wouldn't it be ridiculous if someone on TV said, “Fillies shouldn't race colts—they're built differently”? Highlighting these differences shows that gendered assumptions can be silly. We should celebrate their talent, not get wrapped up in what makes them different.
Yet, this sensible logic seems forgotten when it comes down human athletes, especially trans athletes. Accusations fly about cheating, and exclusion creeps in. For trans women, excelling in sports draws a lot scrutiny and debate.
Sports have never been a perfectly fair arena. Genetics, access, money, gear, and coaches—these all matter. Despite that, we cheer on those who rise above challenges. Somehow, though, when trans athletes break barriers, it all gets questioned. During those moments, my thoughts wander back my horse. He represents a trust that goes beyond labels. He doesn't care about pronouns or whether my voice has changed. He just wants me there with him.
Animals see beyond categories. They pick up on energy and how they're treated. My horse seemed know I was still me, maybe even before I did. His acceptance offers a valuable lesson many could learn from.
Horses probably don't ponder gender, but they've got lessons worth listening. When those gates burst open at Derby, every horse runs because that race it was meant do. They're driven by belief in their ability and a passion hit their stride.
Isn't that what all striving, really?
Jay Robinson, a trans athlete and equestrian, found peace in his horse's steadfast acceptance. Through his journey, Jay invites us rethink notions fairness and gender in sports, drawing strength from profound yet simple wisdom offered by his equine friend.
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