Paul Reubens, the beloved actor known for his portrayal of the iconic character Pee-wee Herman, has posthumously come out as gay in a new documentary that premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. The documentary, titled Pee-wee as Himself, reveals the complexities of Reubens' life and career, shedding light on his decision to retreat back into the closet to protect his career.
In the film, Reubens candidly discusses the challenges he faced regarding his sexuality and the impact of his fame. "I was secretive about my sexuality even to my friends out of self-hatred or self-preservation," he reportedly says. "I was conflicted about sexuality. But fame was way more complicated."
Despite being initially open about a relationship he had with a man named Guy, Reubens explained that as his career grew, he felt compelled to hide that part of himself. "I was out of the closet, and then I went back in the closet," he shared. "I wasn’t pursuing the Paul Reubens career. I was pursuing the Pee-wee Herman career."
Reubens mentioned that his relationship with Guy, who ultimately passed away from AIDS, was a significant inspiration for the Pee-wee Herman character. Throughout his life, Reubens had "many, many secret relationships," which he kept private to maintain his public persona.
Reubens passed away in 2023 at the age of 70 after a long battle with cancer. Many remember him as "an unapologetically odd, decidedly queer-coded performer who brought a little weirdness into our humdrum lives for decades," as described by critics and fans alike.
Despite never officially coming out or speaking publicly about his sexuality during his lifetime, Reubens' unique style and offbeat sense of humor made him a beloved figure in the LGBTQ+ community. His ability to playfully challenge societal norms resonated with many, establishing him as a queer icon.
In the documentary, Reubens explains his motivation for creating a film about his life and career, including both achievements and controversies. He discusses events like his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure, to which he pleaded no contest, and how these incidents affected his life.
"More than anything, the reason I wanted to make a documentary was for people to see who I really am and how painful and dreadful it was to be labeled something I wasn’t," Reubens stated. "To be labeled a pariah; to have people be scared of you, or untrusting… My whole career, everything I did and wrote, was based in love."
The film also touches on the 2001 scandal where Reubens was charged with possession of child pornography, which he contended was "vintage erotica." The charges were eventually dropped in 2004, and Reubens pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of obscenity. The documentary suggests that many of Reubens' legal issues were fueled by homophobia, a claim supported by his publicist, Kelly Bush Novak, who described the child pornography arrest as "a homophobic witch hunt."
According to the documentary, Reubens stopped cooperating with director Matt Wolf after being questioned about the scandal. However, shortly before his death, Reubens recorded audio for the film, expressing his desire for understanding: "I wanted to talk about and have some understanding of what it’s like to be labeled a pariah, to have people scared of you, or unsure of you, or untrusting, or to look at what your intentions are through some kind of filter that’s not true. I wanted people to understand that occasionally, where there is smoke, there isn’t always fire."
Reubens' story is a poignant reminder of the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the public eye, especially during a time when societal acceptance was far less prevalent. His legacy continues to inspire many within the queer community and beyond.
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