Gay Sports Executive Reflects on Career, Family, and Identity

As Thanksgiving draws near, it's a chance not only just fill our bellies but also our hearts, reflecting on our journeys and feeling grateful. It's an ideal time, really, as I recount my path toward self-discovery and acceptance.

The day that changed everything

June 26, 2015, will forever be etched in my memory. Sure, it was a landmark day across America with marriage equality becoming law, but it was a personal milestone too. That was when I told my mom, "I'm gay." It's funny how a few words can flip your whole life.

My parents were shocked. Imagine—they thought they knew me, their son who dated girls. Suddenly, I was revealing a hidden part, a boyfriend. They struggled, seeing it as just a phase or something I'd chosen, missing that this was fundamentally who I am.

Facing family challenges

Growing up in a Maryland suburb, my parents and I were pretty tight. So, it hit hard when my big reveal shook that foundation. No job lined up after graduating from Penn State meant I was abruptly without a place in my childhood home.

The months that followed were rough. I wrestled with doubts about my decision and my entire identity. Friends reached out, worried, but trust was tough. Even those I was close with seemed like strangers.

But then, my boyfriend's family came through like a lifeline, welcoming me and offering a place where I felt safe, helping me steer through this uncharted territory.

Discovering a new family

Thanksgiving 2015 brought an unexpected twist. An internship with Philadelphia 76ers' Social Responsibility team opened up. At a time I felt excluded, this was like a beacon. Spending Thanksgiving away from my birth family marked a fresh start.

Starting in January 2016 wasn't without its hurdles. Navigating my identity at work was tricky. The fear that I'd be rejected made me hesitant, and I wasn't ready then. I dodged relationship talks, making up stories about my family moving.

Many think once you're out, life just clicks. It's more complicated. Hiding strains your confidence and sense worth.

Gradually, as I moved up in my role, I started showing my true self. The outpouring from colleagues was heartening. The organization's inclusive vibe, driven from its leaders, made a significant difference.

Embracing leadership with pride

Guided by mentor Amy Hever, I got a chance I'd dreamed about—establishing a Pride platform with such a legendary team, engaging our local LGBTQ community. Our presence in Philly Pride Parade was a standout, with over 50 staff joining our celebration.

The Pride initiatives kept growing, featuring events like community panels and clinics with NBA vet Jason Collins, supporting LGBT youth. Providing a haven where these young folks felt heard was fulfilling beyond words.

Yet, despite professional highs, my relationship with my parents remains strained. We're trying, but I ponder whether we'll ever fully heal.

Looking back, I see that fearful kid I was. But now, as a Social Responsibility Manager with 76ers, I'm proud and grateful. It's been a ride, and I'm thankful I didn't travel it alone.

If you're part LGBTQ in sports wanting your story shared, know you're not alone. There's a community ready and waiting, right here with you.