Former Premier League Referee Opens Up About Being Gay and Lessons Learned
A former elite referee in English soccer has recently come forward to share his journey of coming out as gay, revealing the challenges he faced while hiding his true self during his career. David Coote, who officiated Premier League matches for over six years, was dismissed from his position by the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) in December after an investigation into his conduct.
Coote, 42, was also listed as a FIFA international referee from 2020 to 2022 and played a significant role as a Video Assistant Referee (VAR) at last summer's UEFA Euro 2024 tournament in Germany. However, his career faced a turning point after videos leaked online in November, which reportedly showed him making derogatory comments about a football manager and allegedly using drugs. These incidents led to his suspension and subsequent firing.
Despite the controversies, Coote has chosen to be open about his struggles with his sexuality. In an exclusive interview, he expressed a "deep sense of shame" about being gay, a feeling that had burdened him for years. He described his teenage years as particularly challenging, as he grappled with his identity in secrecy.
Coote revealed that he came out to his parents when he was 21 and to his friends four years later. He began his refereeing career in the Football League (EFL) and was promoted to the Premier League in April 2018, where he officiated 112 games and even presided over the 2023 Carabao Cup final at Wembley.
The pressures of being a high-profile referee in the world's most watched soccer league were immense, causing Coote to conceal his sexuality, which, in turn, affected his mental well-being. He admitted that the fear of adding his sexuality to the existing pressures of his job was overwhelming.
"I was afraid of the backlash," Coote admitted. "I've received deeply unpleasant messages throughout my career as a referee, and to add my sexuality into the mix would have been really difficult." He emphasized the need for progress in tackling discrimination both within football and in society at large.
In a statement to the media, Coote addressed the turbulent period of his life, taking responsibility for actions that he admitted fell below expected standards. He expressed remorse for any offense caused and the negative attention it brought to the sport he loves.
"This has been one of the most challenging times of my life," Coote stated. "I am genuinely sorry for any offense caused by my actions. They do not represent who I am today." He also highlighted his current focus on mental health and well-being, with hopes that his experiences can be of use in the future of football.
Coote expressed gratitude towards those who supported him during this difficult period, including family, friends, former colleagues, and the wider football community. "Special thanks to countless strangers who have offered words of encouragement and support," he added. "I appreciate it more than words can express."
His story serves as a reminder of the personal battles many face in their professional lives and the importance of acceptance and support. As Coote moves forward, he aims to use his experiences to advocate for a more inclusive and understanding environment in sports and beyond.
Related topics of interest include ongoing efforts to address discrimination in sports, with a recent report highlighting over 100 incidents of anti-gay incidents at Premier League, EFL, and FA Cup games. This underscores the ongoing need for vigilance and action to combat homophobia in football.
Coote's journey is one of resilience and courage, and his openness contributes to an important dialogue about inclusivity in sports. As he continues to prioritize his mental health, he hopes to pave the way for others facing similar challenges.
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