“I can’t quite believe she’s going to stay with us now,” says Kevin, reflecting on the arrival of his two-and-a-half-month-old daughter—a momentous occasion he shares with his husband Michael. Their new chapter as parents is the joyous culmination of a journey that began after the lockdown, a journey "four years in the making," as he puts it.
Kevin and Michael are still in the process of obtaining parental orders, a legal step necessary to secure their roles as the legal parents of their daughter. Kevin describes the surrogacy experience as a wonderful journey—one that has introduced them to "a whole new level of love, sacrifice, determination, and strength."
Building a Unique Bond
Kevin speaks warmly of their surrogate, whom he describes as a "warrior." Her willingness to help them after previous unsuccessful attempts is, in his words, "outstanding." He cherishes the unique bond formed with her, noting, "It’s a special kind of relationship without a name. She’s not a sister, aunt, or cousin, but she is family." The relationship continues to flourish as they maintain regular contact.
In the spirit of sharing their experience and supporting others considering surrogacy, Kevin has launched a YouTube channel, KPB. The channel aims to provide guidance and community for those embarking on a similar path. "We’ve had nothing but joy and love coming our way, so that’s been wonderful," he shares.
Surrogacy in the UK
Kevin and Michael, partners for 20 years, embarked on their surrogacy journey through Surrogacy UK. This organization connects prospective parents with potential surrogates through social events, described by Kevin as "like Facebook for surrogates and people who want surrogates."
In the UK, the surrogacy process is altruistic, with the surrogate having the autonomy to choose how she wishes to help. Financial compensation beyond covering reasonable expenses—such as medical costs, travel, and post-birth necessities—is not permitted.
The process typically involves a three-month period for the surrogate and intended parents to form a relationship. Kevin emphasizes that "the surrogate has all the power," highlighting the altruistic nature of the arrangement.
Challenges and Support
Helen Prosser, co-founder of Brilliant Beginnings and NGA Law, provides additional insight into surrogacy in the UK. Her organizations, established to offer a fully managed surrogacy pathway, aim to simplify the process and avoid complex legal challenges. "There are going to be bumps in the road," Helen acknowledges, "but we want to ensure that when they come, it’s from a place of stability, and that everyone feels positive about the outcome."
Helen also speaks to the profound desire many have to become parents: "It’s innate, and we feel it is one of the greatest joys that somebody can have." However, she notes a "massive shortage" of surrogates in the UK and calls for more women to consider stepping forward.
The landscape of surrogacy in the UK is evolving, with the Law Commission recommending significant legal reforms in 2023 to simplify the process for intended parents. These changes aim to create a more supportive and accessible environment for families pursuing surrogacy.
Kevin and Michael's story is a testament to the transformative power of love and determination in building a family. Their journey is one of hope and inspiration for many who dream of parenthood through surrogacy.
We invite you to share your thoughts on this topic in the comments below. Please remember to keep the conversation respectful and supportive.
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