Finding my place at Syracuse: A journey from fear and uncertainty
Back in 2023, I opened up about an incredible journey I went through as a Syracuse University athlete—one where I finally embraced my sexuality and found a supportive community.
A new beginning: Syracuse and self-discovery
Getting that acceptance letter from Syracuse was a defining moment, flooded with excitement and a bit (okay, a lot) overwhelming. I was trading my Seattle roots and heading across country, barely knowing anyone beyond my future coaches and roommate. The anxiety was real.
Discovering a community
During my second weekend as a freshman in 2017, a BBQ hosted by senior rowers and team captains became a turning point. I met a teammate living his truth, surrounded by a team that genuinely accepted him. That moment gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could find that kind acceptance too.
Still, fear kept its grip on me. The idea that coming out might lead people—especially my team—to judge me was terrifying. I tried hard not just blend in, but music like Fergie and Beyoncé on blast might've given me away.
Living a double life: The struggle within
As rowing season picked up, I found myself in a predominantly straight environment. The idea that my identity could affect how I was perceived left me anxious. It felt like a shadow was following me, even if it was only in my mind.
A breakthrough: Trusting a mentor with my truth
Returning from a spring training trip, I hit a wall. One morning, surrounded by a snowy Syracuse, doubt and isolation weighed me down. Stepping onto that bus, emotions bubbled up, mirroring winter's chill. Despite trying, I couldn't shake them during practice.
Finally, as I packed up, a burst courage pushed me toward Jason Elefant, an assistant coach. Tearfully, voice shaking, I shared my battle with identity and mental health.
Finding strength in acceptance
Jason didn't hesitate, he wrapped me in support, assuring me I was in a safe space, backed by my team. His response was a light, urging me toward openness.
With his encouragement, I reached out two close friends outside rowing. Their reaction was one pure acceptance, admitting suspicion but respecting my journey.
Open doors: Strengthening friendships with honesty
That acceptance emboldened me. Coming out my roommate loomed as a challenge, fearing awkwardness. Yet, after practice on a Saturday, I went ahead. To my relief, he embraced it, sharing his own stories with LGBTQ friends and family.
His warmth reshaped our bond, and soon his friendly nudges had me opening up more. Instead dread, I found congratulations and solidarity.
The transformative power being true self
Reflecting my freshman year, I realized fear rejection was all in me. The very community I worried about welcomed me wholeheartedly.
Being open about my sexuality at Syracuse enriched my life. Teammates, coaches, trainers—they all accepted me without hesitation. It was here I learned self-acceptance and grew both individually and with my team.
Sharing hope and support
By sharing my story, I hope remind others—whether they're in or out closet—to embrace support around them. Accepting ourselves tears down barriers, allowing us achieve more and maybe even inspire along way.
Mitchell Harjo graduated from Syracuse University in 2021. He excelled both academia and athletics, becoming leader on rowing team. Now based Washington, D.C., he continues advocate LGBTQ rights.
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