A Courageous Journey: How a Gay Sailor Found Support Among His Navy Peers

Back in April 2015, I returned from a thrilling motorcycle ride in Pensacola, Florida, feeling on top and full from a day spent with someone special. Little did I know, my whole life was about take a turn I never saw coming.

My phone started buzzing nonstop with Instagram notifications, interrupting my post-ride euphoria. I pulled over, confused by all these messages, and my heart dropped: "Explain this." "Are you gay? Don't lie." A friend found a photo I'd posted with another man on my motorcycle, and suddenly, everything was out in open.

Right there, on that roadside, I broke down. It was time - I had face my biggest fear. I chose honesty: yes, I'm gay. The support that poured in shocked me. While I did lose few friends, those who mattered most embraced me, and our bonds grew even tighter.

Living my truth in a military uniform

Once I cleared that hurdle, I began living openly, with all its ups and downs. Being a gay man in military wasn't easy. During combat training before deployment in Afghanistan, I faced prejudice head-on. A fellow trainee candidly said, "I wouldn't trust a gay man with my life," regardless my perfect performance. Such comments only made me more determined succeed.

Passion that fuels my strength

Sports, especially water polo, have always been my refuge. Growing up in small conservative town in Southern California, I fell in love with water polo in seventh grade, all through high school. My pursuit took me overseas Madrid, Spain, where I played at an elite college before returning stateside.

Coming out right before I turned 21 was monumental, and terrifying. But I knew was time. When I texted my best friends, who were miles away at college, their supportive replies buoyed me. My mom, who'd asked before if I was gay, called right after I texted her, offering her unconditional love.

The military atmosphere was intimidating. I'd enlisted in Naval Special Warfare Program, and I heard homophobic slurs regularly. One instructor once told me, "It may be okay being gay, just not you." After an injury, I pivoted roles and relocated Florida, where I finally came out, finding surprising acceptance from my peers.

The surprising power acceptance holds

Many fears—being rejected or seen as " less " due my orientation—never actually happened. Some homophobic folks turned out be my strongest supporters, which inspired me begin new chapter in life.

Living openly as a gay man has brought me both joy and accomplishment. I've traveled Middle East twice and earned meaningful recognition, like being named Sailor Quarter.

I strive be a role model, challenging stereotypes. My experiences drive my advocacy equality. With other LGBTQ+ sailors, I'm working create a support group at our base.

Working towards future acceptance

The dream? A future where no one has " come out " —introducing a partner should be no big deal. Until that day, I'll continue pushing a vision where everyone can proudly be themselves.

I'm Conner Curnick, Petty Officer Third Class in U.S. Navy, stationed in Afghanistan. Off-duty, I compete water polo Washington D.C., and I'm committed making positive impact through my advocacy.